Are you tired of living your life like the other brain dead Americans that consume the country? Are you sick of even waking up in the morning to face the day, your monotonous job, and your fellow employees? Do you live your life in fear of the others that surround you? What’s the point of even getting out of your warm, cozy bed to face a cold, uncaring world? The Zombie Association of America has a solution for you. We will send one of our finest zombies to your home to infect you with their disease within the next twenty-four hours. Do not be afraid. You will be drained of your ambitions, dreams, goals, and any other cares you may have the instant our zombie begins feeding upon your brains. Once our zombie has finished their meal, you will be able to infect others that made life difficult for you. Don’t be the last person on your block to think for themselves. Eat brains today. Call within the next ten minutes and we will send two zombies for the price of one to infect you and your family. Act now. Sorry no COD’s.
